November Calender

As Salaamu Alaikum ladies, I have come up with a new schedule of topics for the month of November and each day will correspond to what has been posted here. Please check the calender and if a particular day interest you then be sure to stop by on that day. And I will be taking suggestions for next months topics, feel free to leave me an email or comment with your ideas and suggestions.

Quick Tidy Routine

As Salaamu Alaikum and how is everyone  Insha Allah everyone is well and if you aren't may Allah make it so. Aamin. 
Between Monday and Friday my days are super busy, homeschooling, working, studying, and countless other things. Some days I look up and realize that the house isn't looking quite the way I would like for it to look, but who has time for cleaning when you can barely breath?
Yes this is a problem but listen ladies there is something you can do, because the reality the house has to be maintained, so I came up with a quick tidy routine that has worked for me and I promise you it is quick and the results are wonderful. I am going to share it with you all here today and insha Allah it will prove beneficial to you. 

Kitchen

·         Clear out and wipe down the sink (5 minutes).

No piles of dirty dishes! Do a quick wash, and wipe the sink with  sponge.

·         Wipe down countertops and stove (1 minute).

Clean splatters and spills with a damp cloth or sponge and an all-purpose cleanser.

·         Wipe problem spots on the floor (2 minutes).

 Quickly clean any spills or sticky spots, which will attract dirt and get more noticeable if left alone.

·         Fold or hang dish towels (30 seconds).

Even if they’re clean, a jumble of dish towels on the counter can look messy. Take a few moments to fold or hang them.

Bathroom

·         Wipe out the sink (30 seconds).

Use a washcloth, paper towel, or a product like Windex Glass and Surface Wipes, which won’t leave streaks on chrome or mirror.

·         Clean splatters off the mirror (15 seconds).

Got foamy toothpaste spray on the mirror? Do a quick swipe with the clean cloth

·         Wipe the toilet seat and rim (15 seconds).

With a soft cloth spray some clean on your toilet seat and rim and wipe down toilet

·         Swoosh the toilet bowl with a brush (15 seconds).

Spray inside and give it a quick scrub.

·         Squeegee the shower door (30 seconds).

Wipe down glass doors to remove water droplets that can cause spotting. No squeegee? Use a dry towel.

·         Spray the shower and curtain liner with a shower mist (15 seconds).

A quick spray with a daily cleanser will reduce buildup of mildew and soap scum.

Bedroom

·         Make your bed (2 minutes).

Even a fluffy down comforter pulled up over messy sheets will look polished.

·         Fold or hang clothes and put away jewelry (4 minutes).

Even better: Resist the urge to toss them somewhere in the first place! Put them away as you take them off.

·         Straighten out the night-table surface (30 seconds).

Take last night’s water glass to the kitchen, stow your reading glasses in a drawer, and straighten books or magazines.

Living Room

·         Tidy the sofa (2 minutes).

It’s likely the focus of the room, so neaten it. Fluff the pillows and fold the throws.

·         Pick up crumbs with a handheld vacuum (1 minute).

Concentrate on surfaces in plain sight: sofa cushions, coffee table, and rugs in the middle of the room. Look for dust bunnies, too.

·         Wipe tables and spot-clean cabinets where you see fingerprints (1 minute).

Use a microfiber cloth or a Swiffer cloth to pick up dust. If the surfaces are streaked or sticky, use a moist cloth.

·         Straighten coffee table books and magazines (2 minutes).

Toss old newspapers and magazines into a basket or bin made labeled specifically for them

·         Clear major clutter (5 minutes).

Stash toys, and anything else you might trip over.

Making the Most of your Marriage

Making the Most of your Marriage

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in
tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs for those
who reflect". [al-Room 30:21]

Tafsir Ibn Kathir

(And among His signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves,) meaning, `He created females of your own kind, to be wives for you.' that you may find repose in them,) This is like the Ayah, (It is He Who has created you from a single person, and He has created from him his wife, in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her) (7:189). This refers to Hawwa'. Allah created her from Adam, from the short rib on his left. If Allah had made Adam’s entire progeny male, and created the females from another kind, such as from Jinn or animals, there would never have been harmony between them and their spouses. There would have been revulsion if the spouses had been from a different kind. Out of Allah's perfect mercy He made their wives from their own kind, and created love and kindness between them. For a man stays with a woman because he loves her, or because he feels compassion towards her if they have a child together, or because she needs him to take care of her, etc. (Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.)

Alhamdulillah you have found the right mate. Insha Allah

Excellent, but how do you keep the feeling alive and work at creating a dynamic, growing relationship?

Many of us fail to keep talking, to keep asking questions and to keep our partnership fresh and loving. The divorce rate reflects the death of romantic love after a short honeymoon period. Romantic love is delicious - all sweaty palms and heart palpitations, and long nights of passion, and talking. Two become one for a time and life is bliss.

This state cannot last. Experience shows us clearly that the world creeps slowly back into our love-bubble and we start to lead separate lives again.  We need to work to replace romantic love with friendship and a slow-burning passion that permeates all aspects of our dealings with our partner.

This is based on communication, staying interested in your partner and your partnership. The developing friendship does not mean the end of wonderful passion but it does mean understanding that a lasting relationship is so much more than physical attraction.

When children arrive, the pressures on the two of you are exponentially greater. Your time and attention become diverted away from the love of your life. This spells trouble if you have not established clear ground rules. Drifting apart is the easy option. Working hard to keep your love alive is just that - hard work at times.

Questions to share with your husband

Use these as a way of focusing on your love and your future.

·         Do I show you that I love you?

·         Do you love me?

·         Do you like me as a person?

·         Do we have fun together?

·         Do you feel appreciated by me?

·         Is there anything that you want to tell me about you?

·         Has being with me changed anything in you for the better/worse?

·         Do we both understand our roles and are trying to please Allah?

·         Have I changed since we got together?

·         If I have, is this OK with you?

Take the time to listen to each other's answers. Listening can be more important than speaking at times. 

There are some basic concepts to consider when listening in important situations.

Step one is to receive the message, which means you need to stop talking. Step two is to understand or comprehend the message. Step three is to make sure that you got the message right and to absorb it. All that needs to happen before you reply. Your mood, your thoughts and your perceptions can all cloud your understanding of the message.

Is this starting to sound difficult? Well, it is difficult, which is why so few of us are effective listeners.

You also have to keep in mind that a lot is not being said. To get at the deeper, underlying meaning of a message, you need to listen attentively and gently. Your partner is hopefully precious to you and deserves your undivided attention. Ask the questions and then wait for the answers.

Alhamdulillah for all the things He has given us, now that we have them we have to show gratitude. Our marriages are no different, show that you are grateful and make it known that you care. Remember their will be hard times and bad days, but if we learn to communicate, respect each other, and love each other for the pleasure of Allah, then Insha Allah we will have lasting marriages.

Can you Really Have it All? ( A Battle of Work and Home)

         

We all know the popular phrase ‘you can have it all’, but is it true?  Can women really have a career, kids, husband and home and be successful in each aspect? 

This is a question that I have asked a few women and I have even tried to answer myself. I have tried to have it all and I will say that while it is not impossible, I found it extremely difficult and for me I had to make some decisions. In doing so I came up with a few points in which to follow in order to keep me on track and I hope that they work for you. Of course everyone will have their own experiences and ways in which to cope these are just a few suggestions that I found to be helpful.

   

• Set goals and plan how to reach them.  “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” - Napoleon Hill.
•  If you are married, it’s essential to be on the same page with your spouse. 
• Be realistic.  Don’t over-extend yourself or you will become stressed which could result in failure.  Remember, you are human, not a robot.
• Be willing to ask and accept help.  No one can do everything by themselves. 
• Allow yourself to be open to suggestions as well.  Sometimes an outsider can see something you are too close to notice. There’s no shame in seeking advice and help.  In your home, assign chores.  If you have children involved in activities, make transportation arrangements with parents of other children in the same activities.  At work, delegate small jobs to others, allowing you more time and mental energy to focus on the bigger projects.  
• Be prepared for failures.  This is only natural.  Every person walking the earth will experience failures, trials, and rough times.  It’s how you handle the failures that determine your success.  Don’t give up or let it stop you.  Use it as a learning tool.  Brush yourself off, and keep moving forward.  Determination and perseverance is the biggest key to success.
• Prioritize and this one should have been at the top. Sisters place everything in perspective of what is most important. Remember to keep Allah and Islam first, children, husband, and home are essential and they are our first responsibility. Our role as women is to nurture and educate our children in Islam, so if we are finding that our careers are interfering with that or things are beginning to fall apart at home, we must decide what is most important and how we can salvage it. If at all. So the key is to prioritize and constantly reevaluate. 

I 

• 
  

     http://salaf-us-saalih.com/2013/04/09/advice-to-the-women-shaykh-ahmad-bazmool/

Wellness After 30

Wellness in Your 30's 
 UmmHaya Salahuddin   

They say the human body is at its peak at age 25. As you grow older and get to the onset of your 30s, that is when metabolism slows down, our muscles lose mass, bones lose density, strength and metabolism declines, and body fat accumulates faster than ever. Physiologists say that a woman gains an average of 22lbs between the ages of 20 and 65. Yet, you don't have to be a statistic. Don't just sit back and embrace the physical decline that is bound to happen sooner or later. The answer is to stay active in your thirties, this is proven to slow down the natural processes of our body and leave you feeling good about yourself.

From 20's to 30's 

From her late twenties up to her thirties, a woman spends more of her time with the responsibilities and priorities that come with family and career. Often, it gets difficult to squeeze in enough time to work out and stay fit until the day comes when you notice those unwanted flabs. More than your physical appearance, you might start feeling exhausted or lethargic most of the time or worse, you develop health problems. While there is no fountain of youth, every woman can minimize health risks as her body matures by taking time for age-appropriate exercises – on top of adapting a healthier diet.

Basic Exercise Program for your Thirties.

A woman in her thirties still needs a good balance of aerobic, cardiovascular, and weight training exercises. 60 minutes of medium intensity exercise three times a week would be sufficient in meeting your fitness needs. Yet, you don't need to do it "all in 60 minutes" you could break this down into 6 x 30 minutes sessions.

 

So how can you become more active in your thirties?

It can be tough to make time in your schedule for exercise when you’re in your thirties, especially if you have a career, an active social life and a family to look after. The chances are exercise doesn’t make it high up on your list of priorities when you have so many other things to worry about.  I understand, you are tired, the children have run you ragged and the work just never seems to end. However, it is definitely worth making time for exercise while you’re still young and healthy, so that you can potentially avoid developing health problems as you get older.

If you don’t get enough exercise you could find yourself at greater risk of developing heart disease and diabetes, which you obviously don’t want to get if you can help it.

You therefore have to find a way to incorporate more exercise into your schedule. You may however feel as though you don’t have enough time for exercise, but you only have to set aside an hour a day for some kind of physical activity to feel the benefits. I will repeat you don’t even have to do this hour of exercise all in one go and so you could easily squeeze in a few lunges or sit-ups while you’re waiting for dinner to cook and take the stairs instead of an elevator. As long as you get your body moving and your heart pumping you should notice a difference, but you have to ensure that you get more active regularly.

Thus, there is no point in creating a home gym with the intention of using it every day only to find that your schedule doesn't make it easy for you to do this. You might start off with enthusiasm, but soon find that your job or family takes precedence over a workout in that gym. You therefore need to find an activity you enjoy doing which you can actually squeeze into your schedule, or which you want to do so much that you’re prepared to make room in your schedule for it.

You might decide to get up early to go for a brisk walk with your husband, this can double as a chance to reconnect and exercise.   You could also buy a fitness DVD.  In the end, it is up to you what kind of exercise you do, but you have to be prepared to do it regularly if you are going to be able to appreciate the benefits.

Wellness in your thirties is about more than exercise it’s about the whole person.

We have to ask ourselves the hard questions and be honest with our answers in order to be truly well in your thirties.

·         Do you manage to complete all or most of your tasks by the end of each day?

·         Do you have all the tools you need to run your life, such as an effective schedule?

·         Do you delegate effectively?

·         Do you give time to people who don't deserve your time?

·         Do you manage your home efficiently?

·         Do you put off handling things that could and should be dealt with now?

·         Do you say yes to additional work, knowing that you do not have sufficient time to complete the task?

·         Do you have a cut-off point each day when your time becomes yours?

·         Do you need help looking after the children so that you can spend more quality time with them?

These questions seem simple and yet they are an accurate reflection of what can potentially go wrong in the average day. Effective time management frees up mental and emotional space, allowing you to act more effectively and efficiently.

Set about getting the basics right: time for work; time for family/social activities; time for you.

How to Get Dinner on the Table in 20 minutes

Help for Dealing with a Hectic Schedule

How to Get Dinner on the Table in 20 minutes
By: Nailah Salahuddin

It's 6pm and you walk through the front door. Keys on the foyer table, shoes at the bottom of the stairs, pocket book and/or briefcase on the counter. What a day it has been long hours at work and the drive home just about killed you, but it's over now you are home and can just sit back and relax. Um.....In what lifetime will that happen, the reality of the situation is so much different than the one you have imagined in your mind on the hectic drive home from work. So much different, yes your day outside the home has ended but it is now time to drop that hat and pick up the second hat of your day. (MOM and WIFE)

Mohamed needs help with his science project, Haya needs you to look over her latest math quiz, little Jannah needs some attention from you as well and while all of that is taking place you all still need to eat. Eat that is right, dinner still needs to be made and the last time your husband volunteered to do it, let's just say the meal was a bit Cajun.

This is where I come in, I can't fly over there and take Haya off your hands or Jannah off your hip but I can give you a few quick, easy, and delicious recipe ideas that can make just one part of your day a little easier. Plug up your printers, pull out a few pots, and put Jannah in the playpen it is time to cook.

Easiest Barbecue Chicken Sandwiches Ever

Hands-On Time: 5 minutes

Ready In: 3-4 hours

Yield: 4-6 servings

Ingredients

6 chicken breast halves, skinless and boneless

1 1/2 cups barbecue sauce (whatever your favorite is)

Directions

Place chicken breasts into the bottom of a slow cooker and pour barbecue sauce over them.

Lid and cook for 3 to 4 hours on high until cooked through and nearly falling apart.

Shred the chicken well -- two forks does the job quickly -- and serve on burger buns.

Note

Top with coleslaw and shoestring fries for a different, and delicious, version..

Italian Turkey Sliders with Honey Dijon Mayo

Ingredients

20 ounces lean ground turkey

2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese, grated

1 clove garlic - minced

1/2 teaspoon basil,, dried

1/2 teaspoon oregano,, dried

1 teaspoon salt

 freshly ground black pepper

16 dinner or slider rolls

1/3 cup mayonnaise

1 tablespoon honey Dijon mustard

Directions

Combine ground turkey, cheese and all seasonings. Mix together well.

Shape turkey into 16 small patties.

Place patties on a greased baking sheet.

Bake at 350 degrees F for 8 - 10 minutes or until cooked through. Be careful not to cook too long or they will become dried out.

Combine mayonnaise with honey Dijon mustard and stir until well blended.

Place on rolls and top with honey Dijon mayo.

Chicken Fajita Tostadas

Hands-On Time: 15 minutes

Ready In: 20 minutes

Yield: 4 servings

Cost Per Serving: $1.50

Ingredients

8 tostada shells

2 cups cooked shredded chicken breast

1 cup refried beans

1 medium green pepper - thinly sliced

1 medium onion - thinly sliced

1 packet (1.25 ounces) taco seasoning mix

1/2 cup lime juice

1/2 cup water

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Shredded lettuce, diced tomato, salsa, sour cream and guacamole for garnish -- optional

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Combine taco seasoning, water and lime juice and stir well.

Pour half of the taco seasoning mixture over the shredded chicken and the other half over the pepper and onion.

Cook chicken in a large skillet over medium-high heat until the sauce starts to thicken slightly -- 2-3 minutes. Remove chicken and keep warm. Add peppers and onions and cook until the sauce starts to thicken and veggies start to wilt -- about 3-4 minutes. Remove and keep warm.

Lay tostada shells on an ungreased baking sheet.

Top each shell with 2 tablespoons refried beans, 1/4 cup shredded chicken, peppers and onions and cheddar cheese to taste.

Bake until the cheese just starts to melt -- about 5 minutes. Remove from oven and serve with optional garnishes.

Chicken Taco Soup

Hands-On Time: 5 minutes

Ready In: 20-25 minutes

Yield: 6 servings

Ingredients

1 pound boneless skinless chicken, cooked and shredded 

2 cups cooked kidney beans 

2 cups prepared salsa

6 cups chicken stock

1 packet taco seasoning

2 cups tortilla chips, crushed

Directions

Combine chicken, beans, salsa, stock and seasoning in a 2-quart soup pot.

Bring to a boil and reduce heat until soup is simmering.

Let cook for 15 to 20 minutes so flavors blend well.

Top each bowl of soup with crushed tortilla chips.

Note

Switch the beans to pinto if you like and add sour cream and a sprinkling of cheddar cheese to each bowl for a change of pace.

All recipes and more can be found on http://family.go.com/food/pkg-quick-easy-recipes/20-minute-recipes-pg/#Grilled Chicken with Chipotle Glaze;18

Try these out and many more, I promise your family will love them and they are truly 20 minute meals. And that is a big help for all of us busy moms whether you work outside the home or are a stay at home mom. 

remember to adjust recipes according to halal standards.

Learning to Juggle Work and Home

As Salaamu Alaikum and good morning, this day is all about supporting the woman with two jobs! That's right the "Working Mom and Wife". if you fall under this category odds are you are at work right now on my end of the world or coming in from work and your work day is beginning again. So this day I have devoted to trying to help you juggle it all just a little easier. I too am a working mom who works from home and my children are home all day with me because I home school. (Scream). I know and understand all the pressures that come with it. So ladies this day is for you, I doubt that you will have a ton of time to sit down and read but catch as much as you can. And May Allah reward you for all you do. Ameen

LEARNING HOW TO JUGGLE!

Feeling a little stressed? Struggling to keep all the balls in the air? You're certainly in good company. Studies have shown that the majority of mothers who work outside the home experience a chronic time crunch: there simply aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that needs to be done. You have to cook, clean, make husband feel comfortable, nurture the children, keep up with your Ibaadat, perform on the job, and somehow find time to take care of yourself. Don't be afraid! Because i like you are in this same situation, I have done some research on this issue and found some amazing tips that I would like share. Please stay with me as I try to quickly share these tips, as school is back in session today and I am on double duty. 

SET REASONABLE WORKING HOURS AND STICK TO THEM

Swim against the tide of our workaholic culture and insist on taking time for yourself and your family. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for turning off your phone or walking away from your computer for a while. Everyone has the right to a personal life, regardless of how much they get paid or which rung they're clinging to on the corporate ladder. 

Here's the deal I am trying to start my own business while running a household and all the things that come with it. I am having the problem of constantly having to be on the computer for research or answering my phone for some reason or another. It causes so much stress and the headache I receive from the eyes at home is more than I can handle. This tip is so vital, turn off the computer, silence your phone, and don't respond to text! Make time for family and stick to it, separate it as much as you can especially if you work from home set hours to work and hours for home.

FIND A JOB YOU LOVE

If you're going to do something 2,000 or more hours a year (and, frankly, you'll be putting in many more hours than that if you're self-employed or on the career fast-track!), you might as well make sure that it's something you enjoy. If you're not crazy about your current job or your present career path, there's no time like the present to start planning your great escape.

And when you're coming up with a list of criteria for your "dream job," make sure that you've put "family-friendly"" right at the top of the list. You want to work for a company that considers its employees and their families to be one of its greatest assets.

WORK WITH PEOPLE YOU LIKE AND RESPECT

There's nothing more poisonous to a working environment than having to work with a person you don't like. If you're saddled with the boss-from-you-know-where or a co-worker who just plain gets on your nerves, you might want to think about exiting stage left at the first opportunity.

I understand this isn't easy, but we don't need that extra stress and this is why I decided to become self employed. As wives and moms we have so much we have to do already so the added stress of dealing with unpleasant people isn't really something we need. However if you are unable to just leave a job then, I would recommend making lots of dua and trying your best to avoid negativity.

PUT YOUR SUPPORT TEAM IN PLACE
whether you turn to family members, friends, or coworkers for support is unimportant. What matters is there's someone waiting to cheer you on when you find yourself having a certifiably horrible day. And don't be afraid to wave the white flag and ask family members to pitch in with household tasks at home:( remember from yesterday get the family involved). 

TAKE CARE OF YOU

Take care of your own needs rather than counting on someone else to take care of them for you. No matter how great your boss, your husband and your kids may be, it's your job to take care of yourself. This is one job you simply can't delegate.  

This last tip is one strictly from me and it is the ultimate piece of advice, it has helped me through it all and it continues to do so... 

Keep Allah and Islam the core focus of your life. Read Quran often, make extra fast, and be sure to keep your families upon Quran and Sunnah.

Sisters, being a working mom whether you work from home, are self employed or work outside of the home, can be stressful and it will get tough, just as staying home does. Keep in mind that you are not alone and reach out to others when you need help. Keep your sense of humor. It's the ultimate weapon against the craziness around you. Things will go wrong, you may be too tired one night and burn the dinner, the kids may have a crappy art project because you just couldn't put the phone down at that time. All of this is to be expected we aren't super moms, we are just MOM! You can find more tips and advices for the working mom, from new trends in the office, recent job postings, monthly pre-made menus with shopping list, baby sitters checklist all to way to the most suitable positions for working moms coming soon to  www.epitomeofawoman.com 

Please check the blog for some delicious and quick recipes for the busy working mom