Let's Help Ourselves and Our Children

As Salaamu Alaikunna
 You all have heard me say this before and I will say it again; One of the most important descriptions of our profession is raising our children upon the Quran and Sunnah and being role models to such behaviour. We are Mothers, we are  Muslim, we are the Protectors, and Nurturers of our husbands children, property and wealth.
I have recently heard from a few sisters and seen for myself with my own children over the years, that our children are displaying character less than what we would like to them to be. This post today is a reminder for myself and for all of us inshaAllah. It starts with the little things or things that we believe to be small, but as a child grows little things grow into mountains. It is as if you take a small item and everyday or several times a day you place another small item on top of the first one, then you look up in 10 years and there is a mountain in front of you. We have to start by teaching the little things, and keep in mind that they are not little things in reality. So I found this article that I would like to share, because I know that this is an issue that many of us moms are dealing with and I pray that it is beneficial to us all. Ameen.

 

Three Points about Joking

Posted on November 16, 2011 by admin

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Merciful…

Let us be reminded that while light-hearted, honest joking from time to time is permissible, there are indeed dangers in joking that many of us may not think about and therefore fall into, so let us be warned about them:
1) JOKES INVOLVING LIES
Indeed the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) warned us severely against using lies in our joking, with his statement:

ويل للذي يحدث بالحديث ليضحك به القوم فيكذب، ويل له، ويل له
“Woe to the one who lies to make people laugh, WOE TO HIM, WOE TO HIM!”

This is an authenitc hadeeth found in Sunan Abee Daawood (#4990), At-Tirmithee (#2315), and others.  At-Tirmithee called the hadeeth hasan, and Al-Albaanee agreed.
Someone may say, “Well, its obvious this joke is full of lies, but I’m not the one who made it up, I’m just passing it on.”
The reply: The hadeeth of the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) that Imaam Muslim brings in the introduction to his Saheeh could apply here:

كفى بالمرء كذبًا أن يحدث بكل ما سمع
“It is sufficient for a man to be considered a liar when he relays everything he hears.”

Lies in general are impermissible, in joking or outside of joking.  There are three exceptions to the general prohibition of lying in Islaam:

• Between spouses
• To correct a broken relationship
• In established military operations (jihad) under a Muslim government

Even in these three cases it must only be used to bring about a benefit.
The point is that none of the scholars exempted joking as a permissible form of lying.
2) EXCESSIVE JOKING
The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

لا تكثروا الضحك، فإن كثرة الضحك تميت القلب
“Don’t laugh too much! For verily, excessive laughter kills the heart!”

This is an authentic hadeeth found in Sunan Ibn Maajah (#4193).  Refer to Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth as-Saheehah (#506).
And he (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) also said:

والله لو تعلمون ما أعلم لضحكتم قليلا ولبكيتم كثيرا
“I swear by the One in whose hand is my soul, if you saw what I have seen, you would laugh a little, and cry a lot.” [Al-Bukhaaree & Muslim]

So the Muslim who recognizes his priorities in life does not get caught up in excessive joking, for example, joke books or comedy programs on TV or radio, since these things will only weaken his heart, keep it away from Allaah’s remembrance, or even kill it, and Allaah’s refuge is sought.
3) INSULTING PEOPLE IN JEST (Satire, Sarcasm, Roasting, etc.)
The disbelievers have a custom of intentionally insulting a person to honor him (?!), they call it a “roast.” They gather the best comedians together to humiliate their “honoree” on his 50th birthday, or his retirement party, or other big occasion. And from their customs as well is to jokingly insult a friend, out of love or respect (?!), as you may have seen.
They might say, “This is my friend, Fulaan, the fat pig,” and they all laugh, or, “My wife, the old ball and chain…” or other derogatory terms that are actually words of insult in their origin. They only spark hatred and do not achieve any goodness, so the Muslim must be the furthest away from this kind of action. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

سباب المسلم فسوق، وقتاله كفر
“Insulting a Muslim is fusooq (sinful disobedience), and fighting him is kufr (ingratitude, a lesser kind of disbelief).” [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]

Or perhaps they may say these things without that person’s presence, then it is even worse. It falls into eating your brother’s dead flesh, the dreadful sin of backbiting.
And if someone said: “But it is understood by everyone to be good, honest fun…!”
The reply: Let us be reminded of Allaah’s Verse:

الخبيثات للخبيثين والخبيثون للخبيثات والطيبات للطيبين والطيبون للطيبات
( And bad things (filthy women, bad words, etc.) are for bad people, and bad people are for bad things.  Good things (upright women, kind words, etc.) are for good people, and good people are for good things. ) [Al-Qur'aan 24:26]

And the speech of His noble Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam):

من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليقل خيرا أو ليصمت
“Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day must speak with goodness or remain silent.” [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]

With these brief and simple points, let an honest Muslim open his heart to a beautiful reminder about how his Religion gives him personal honor and upright character, raising him above the silly and shameful behavior of the disbelievers.

And Allaah knows best.

Written by: Moosaa Richardson

Originally published: 11/02/1421