Schedules

I want to tell you a story about a woman we will call her wife "A", well she was a lovely woman. Every time the people saw her they would remark of how sweet, and soft and kind she was. Oh she was a pleasure to know and be around. Wife A had it all together her children were always well dressed, and very well behaved, she would smile and greet everyone she meet always ready to give advice if asked and she was asked often. "How do you manage to keep it all together? What are your methods of homeschooling? How did you get his shirt so white?" These were just a few of the questions asked of Wife A, yes wife A had it all together, or so everyone thought.

In her home wife A was a disaster, she would lounge around the house most of the day, of course she feed the kids and gave them a few assignments to do, but always from her room. She enjoyed reading a good book and watching a few TV shows, it kept her sane she would tell herself. Her house was in shambles most of the day, she always felt as though she never had time to do everything she needed in her day and she was simply overwhelmed. Everyday was the same, get up feed the children, leave the dishes and cleaning for later, give the children a few lessons to complete of course explain as needed. Watch a little television, not too much ( the children always needed help with something) it was exhausting they never really understood much and she couldn't figure out why. After a while of trying to watch television she would feed the children lunch allow them to play and she would read a book or try and relax. Always and I mean everyday she watched the clock for 4 pm because she knew that meant she had an hour and a half before her husband would be arriving home. Oh you should have seen her she would rush through that house cleaning and straightening, yelling at the children for making a mess and getting in her way, then rush to prepare dinner and dress herself. She would be so tired by the time he came home that it was sometimes difficult to smile and greet him pleasantly. Her husband although he wanted his wife to smile at him and ask him how his day had been felt so sorry for her he assumed the children had given her a hard time all day and she had worked so hard all day that she was just exhausted. He loved her dearly.

One day wife A visited a friend she hadn't seen in years we will call her wife B. Wife B had recently moved back into the area and was also a full time wife and mom of 5 she much like her companion appeared to have it all together. Their was only one major difference between the two of them, while wife A appeared this way wife B was this way. Oh no she wasn't perfect, no not at all. However she had a much easier day and a better handle on it as well. Wife A had left her children in the care of her mother for some much needed rest and relaxation. She sat in the house of wife B and she watched in awe. Wife B had a method, a way , and a time for everything  she did. She noticed how wife B woke the children at a certain time and how the children knew exactly what to do without being told. She noticed how she had breakfast on the table at the same time the children knew to come down to eat without being told, she noticed how they cleared the table while her companion washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen immediately while the children filed into the classroom and prepared for their lesson by getting all the materials out that they needed and guess what, she didn't have to tell them. Wife A walked into the classroom and looked around in amazement; it was so organized books in order of subject being taught lined up neatly on shelves. A place for papers and past assignments, pencils, pens, markers and crayons all in a separate basket lined up on a shelf. Everything had a place of its own. She watched quietly as wife B taught her lesson from a prepared lesson plan, not just off the top of her head she was prepared with activities and a procedure with some assessments as well. After she had taught the lesson she didn't leave the room as wife A had expected her to, she stayed in the classroom and was ready to assist when needed, although the children asked for minimal help she was still there. She walked around to each of her children to see if help was needed it was amazing to see how she was able to teach the different levels the same subject keep it general and then give them all practice work corresponding to their grade level. After a while Wife B left the classroom and she followed in silence and watched as wife B begin to prepare lunch just as she was setting the table a timer went off and the children came in to eat. At this time wife B walked into the kitchen and began cleaning the mess she had made, she didn't wash the dishes the children were still eating she simply walked out and into her lovely living room everything was so neat and sat down. At this point wife A began to speak "How is it everything is running so smoothly, is it like this everyday?" Wife B smiled at her dear companion and answered, " Yes it is and it is because we have a schedule we follow and everything is routine now, they know what to do and what to expect, of course we have days when the unexpected takes place, but with this schedule it is easy to get back on track." The two companions sat and talked for an hour while the children placed their dishes in the sink and played, some of them just relaxed for the hour. Then their was a sound of an alarm and the children filed into the playroom in the basement with wife B and A following behind. She watched as they did all different types of activities and exercises, she was in awe they all appeared to be enjoying themselves. When they had finished with that all the children each grabbed an item and placed them back neatly into whatever bin or shelf they had taken it from. Then they all went back up and into the classroom where they did the same thing there. Finally wife A was ready to watch some TV or something, but wife B had other plans after praying with her children and making sure they all performed dhikr she began to wash the lunch dishes and prepare dinner. It was now 3:30 and the day had gone by smoothly she wasn't tired or at least she didn't appear to be, the house was clean , neat and organized and she was starting dinner. "What time does your husband come in?" " He is home between 6 and 6:30 everyday." She said with a smile. "So why are you cooking so early?" "Because I like to have everything done well before he arrives, this way I can beautify myself for him and be rested and relaxed so when he does come in I am ready to greet and accept him in the manner I would any honored guest and he is so much more than a guest." Wife A nodded and continued to watch as she prepared dinner and cleaned up while she cooked! The children played in their playroom and a couple were outside. At 4:30 Wife B called the children to pray and made sure they all performed dhikr properly. Then she turned to her companion and smiled "I have to get ready for my husband to come home now." Wife A was curious " What exactly do you do?" "Well I take a bath or shower, I redo my hair or retouch it depending on what went on in the day, I am sure to wear something nice, nothing too extravagant just a nice skirt and a shirt or something. Much like what I have on now I just like to freshen my outfit from the day. I apply some nice oils and I wait for him to come in." She answered her with a slight nod. "Well don't you do anything like read or watch television?" Wife A asked. "Yes I read, I usually read Quran or some other Islamic book and I try and memorize something new from the Quran everyday but I do so in the mornings before I wake the children, in fact I had just finished right before you arrived, I also do most of my major chores like laundry and vacuuming, washing windows, dusting and anything else I know I wont be able to do once my day gets going." With that Wife A was amazed. "Well aren't you tired?" "Yes sometimes I get tired, but I do rest, like now I am going to get myself ready and then I will have maybe an hour before my husband returns, then once we have had our dinner and the children help me clean the kitchen we have a little down time with some family games, then the children are off to bed. After that I am free to rest however I please. Then I sleep. You know my day is full but I am not too tired, because I schedule everything I need and I am free on the weekends to add other things in my day, but mostly I rest and of course keep to my studying and chores. In the summer months when the children are off from school we have more time for rest because I only teach Islamic studies to them and then their are activities they can do to keep them occupied, most days I join them, but if I like I can just relax. I mean everyone knows what works best for them in their home, so I say make a schedule according to your family and its needs. " With that wife A smiled and said " Thank You for allowing me to spend the day with you, I know what I have to do now." She left allowing Wife B time to prepare for her husband and *rest*.